Personal Bailout

I've been doing some thinking and I think I should qualify for a bailout.

I know I would make a very good presentation to Congress. I would take public transportation to the hearings on the Hill. I'd take the Metro to Union Station and then walk the rest of the way. I think that would make an excellent first impression on the members of the House and Senate committees I would appear before. After all since I live in the District taking a private jet to the hearing would be just so over the top.

I could also say that I haven't been on any expensive junkets to fancy spas that cost thousands upon thousands of dollars. I know I did go to England but I paid for that with my tax returns and I stayed in a bed and breakfast. So I think that is another point in my favor.

I would present a detailed plan of how I would be spending the money. I would pay off my mortgage. This would free up money for the bank I took the mortgage from to loan to other people.

There's some major remodeling that I'd like to do on the house. This would help stimulate the construction industry. I'd encourage whomever I choose as the contractor to shop at the Home Depot which is a few blocks away. This would help stimulate the local economy. The contractor could also use some of those people who hang out in the Home Depot parking lot who are looking for work.

Once the house has been remodeled there would be extensive landscaping work done on the front and back yards.

Then of course I would have to do work on the inside of the house. I'd like to put in hardwood floors and re-do the kitchen. The plan would be to add another bathroom and re-do the current one. I'd also have to get new furniture.

Also a point to consider is that I would not be paying myself any extravagant bonus at the end of the year.

And the cost to the tax payers would be very modest. I think I could easily do all of this for just around a million dollars.

So this weekend I'm going to be working up my proposal to submit to Congress. I hope I'd be able to do it in the session in December. But I can be patient and wait until the new year.